Blog Post

I Hate You…I Hate This Place…I’ll See You Tomorrow

So, this post is not about food. But living a happy, healthy life isn’t just about food. It’s everything…your job, your home life, stress, friendships, exercise. So many aspects that keep us “healthy”. For me, exercise is a huge part of keeping me happy and healthy. For those that know me personally, you know how much I love #crossfit. Crossfit has changed my life in so many ways. It’s made mestronger (mentally and physically), it’s made me happier, it’s created so many new friendships, it helped me follow my path of “clean eating” and it’s made me have a new appreciation for pushing myself and feeling uncomfortable.
#
But trust me. I have a lot of bad days at Crossfit. It’s hard. I’ve cried. I’ve stressed. I’ve put too much pressure on myself a lot of days. For me, I go through waves. I have months where I feel so strong, and so fast. And then I have months where I feel like I suck at everything! I always get mad at myself after having a melt down. Why? Because it’s easy to quickly forget “why” I’m there.
#
I’ve done a lot of thinking lately as to the “why”. Why am I there? Why do I keep going back? Well, no doubt there’s the people…the amazing community of people I now call family. They keep me #happy. They keep me #motivated. They create this amazing#postiveenviornmemt. But I’m also there for ME. I’m there to be healthy. I’m there be stronger. I’m there to get in a good workout. There to MOVE….to have FUN. I noticed this past Spring I was in a funk. Feeling stressed about my workouts. When I get to that point, it’s not fun anymore. I was so focused on Rx’ing the weights in the WODs that I didn’t feel like I was actually moving enough. I got frustrated. I struggled. I wasn’t having fun. So I asked myself…why am I doing this? I didn’t like where I was headed or how I was feeling. So I decided it was time for a change. No, no…not to leave CF…not happening. But to just switch it up a bit. I decided I would continue to go heavy in the strength portion of the day, but I no longer went heavy during the WODs. I started moving more. But I still worried. I worried that I’d lose my strength. I worried that I’d suck even more. But I stuck with it. I wanted to see how I’d feel. And not only have i felt better mentally…but I haven’t lost strength at all. I’ve actually PR’d a number of lifts. Two of which are my worst! And I’m doing things like legless rope climbs which I could never do before. And most importantly I feel better about me…my body, my mind…everything.
#
This made me realize that a lot of what I do there is mental. Go in with a positive attitude and positive things will happen. Go in with a negative attitude and you’ll no doubt have a bad day. Focus on ME. Focus on feeling good. Don’t compare myself to others. Better myself. Sure…sometimes it’s hard not to compare in CF. We all do it. But I constantly remind myself…I may not be the strongest or the fastest, but I’m there! I show up. I’m 41 and in the best shape of my life. I’m the healthiest I’ve ever been. I feel GOOD. I feel HAPPY. I’m a great example to my kids. I show them what it’s like to committed to health. That’s what matters. And what I mostly realized is that it was time for an attitude change. Be happy that I actually have the ability to be there doing what I’m doing. Before I started I never thought in a million years I could or would do anything I’m doing today. Now over 4 years later…and I haven’t looked back. The fact that I do get frustrated actually means I care. I care about how I feel. I care about my health. I care about ME. And that’s not a bad thing! I just keep pushing.
#
The bottom line here? #bepositive. I woke up this morning and saw the workout. I remember doing it 3 other times before. I remember how awful it was. I remember struggling. I remember feeling like death. But I still showed up. I actually did worse than I did before. Some mental, some time of year…you can’t always have a perfect day. But what I told myself at the end…at least I did it. I pushed myself. And I felt good when it was done. I felt accomplished. I hated every minute of that workout. But I’ll still show up again tomorrow. And when you want to show up again?….That’s when you know you’re in the right place. It wasn’t always like that in the beginning. It took time to feel this way. But I gave it a try and now I love it. No matter what you do…Crossfit, yoga, Pilates, a bootcamp…find something you love. That no matter what, you’ll still want to show up. Most importantly MOVE. It’s good for the heart and its good for the soul. It’s another piece of the puzzle of being the best YOU. Being heathy. And being happy. Will I still get frustrated with myself at Crossfit? Sure. I know I will. It’s natural. But there will always be that constant reminder that I’m there to be healthy. I’ll still have goals. I’ll push myself. And I’ll still always try to be better. But whether I PR a lift or a WOD or not…I’m still doing my body good. It’s all about perspective. I feel very lucky. ?❤️????